Humor in Natural Laws

By
Branko Terzic

What is “humor”? One definition I read somewhere was that for something to be funny it must have two elements: truth and surprise. The truth aspect is obvious. If we do not recognize the “truth” then the joke falls flat. Thus, if I translated a Serbian joke about the behavior of a “guslar”, most not get it unless they know what a guslar is and does. The same holds for political humor outside of the home country unless the politician’s foibles are known internationally.  Surprise would have no meaning either without recognition of the truth.

The following “laws” I collected over the years.  I’ve found humor in them as they speak some truth which I recognize from my life experiences. You may relate to them as well. Some are attributed to the authors and others are not.

Schorr’s Laws of Economics

1) If there are imperfections in the market, entrepreneurs will make lots of money

2) if there are no imperfections in the structure of the market, entrepreneurs will make imperfections in the structure of the marketplace.

In the energy field one might want to consider this law as applicable to the manipulation of the California electricity markets of 2000 by Enron and others.

Law of Unintended Consequences

Government regulations always have unintended consequences, and their importance always outweighs the intended consequences.

Prof. Robert K. Merton, Columbia University

Everyone can cite an example of this law in practice. The Fuel Use Act of 1978, which prohibited the use of natural gas for electricity generation, was quickly repealed when it became apparent in the 1980’s the combination of low priced new natural gas fuel and high thermal efficiency aeroderivative turbines could produce electricity cheaper than old coal fired power plants.

Ryan’s law

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

It’s human nature to remember and applaud forecasts which are proved correct, and to forget all the misses.

Rickover’s Rule

If you have a choice between sinning against God or the bureaucracy, sin against God; because he will forgive you; the bureaucracy will not.

Admiral Hyman Rickover

After I was appointed Commissioner on the Wisconsin Public Service Commission in 1981, I learned that one of the state’s major utilities had a particularly bad reputation with the civil service staff of the commission. It created a problem in regulatory treatment of that utility’s proceedings.  When I investigated the issue, I found it to do with how the utility responded to staff enquiries a generation earlier. None of the current staff I dealt with were around when the utility was behaving badly and none of the executives from the earlier era were around either. The bad reputation persisted.

FCC Policy

Any sufficiently promising technology must be regulated, or it will succeed.

I have written in a number of articles on depreciation about how the 1980’s FCC dragged its feat on allowing AT&T to recognize the functional obsolescence of the thousands central offices still operating with electro-mechanical switching systems after the introduction of digital switching. The new digital switches provided caller ID, call forwarding, three party calling and other features the olde generation technology could not provide. The FCC actions delayed the introduction of the new digital technology.

Emery’s Law

Regulation is the substitution of error for chance.

 Fred J. Emery, Director The Federal Register

This requires one to recognize that regulators of monopolies (public utility regulators) do occasionally make errors.  Of course, you take your chances in a competitive market.

Clarks First Law of Government

When a lot of people are doing something stupid, the reason for it will be found in the tax laws. George L. Clark, Sr.

I’ll leave this one to the reader’s personal and professional experience.